Judgement is something we all do whether we are aware of it or not. Every time we perceive or rationalize our surroundings, we are creating judgement. When we give recommendations and talk about our experiences, we are utilizing judgement. It is vital in our thought process and gives identity to people, places, and nature. Most including myself will agree that the way most use judgement is quite negative. For this post, I’ going to tackle the psychology behind judgment and what we can do to better our own understanding.
Why Are We So Judgmental?
Every person you encounter, whether it be an acquaintance or someone you’ve known for a long time, has something to teach you. The reason we are so judgmental and participate in gossip is because we are unconsciously projected our values and beliefs into the situation. For example, if you heard about someone you knew who got an abortion and you hold mostly conservative values, you would respond in a way that is advocating for the unborn child’s rights. Or if your friend decides to pursue an opportunity to work abroad in London but you enjoy her company and friendship, you would react in a way that you wouldn’t want her to go and pushing your preferences in the form of “advice” to her. When we are harsh or mean to others or respond negatively to an image, we are acting out of our value system. And each time you project this behavior, you must realize that you are a direct mirror. The same instance where you are judging someone, you will also experience the same type of treatment in a situation where you feel judged. And when we show distaste to an emotion or reaction, it brings attention to our insecurities towards the situation.
5 Ways To Release Judgement In Yourself And Others
By recognizing the psychology behind the act of judgement, we are able to make efforts in being more empathic and compassionate towards other people’s situations. Here are 5 ways to be less judgmental and more loving.
- Reflect Inward
- When you feel the nudge to make a harsh judgment, ask yourself, where in my life have I done the same and displayed this emotion? No one is a saint. The people we see everyday are a refection of ourselves.
2. Have Confidence In Yourself
- Once you own your uniqueness and power, you won’t need to stoop down to judgment to make yourself feel better.
3. Be Cautious With Your Words
- Watch you language when clashing with someone on their beliefs. Don’t sound like you’re lecturing them and allow them to freely express their opinions.
4. Open Your Mind
- Try to see things from another person’s perspective. Take a look from both sides.
5. Seek A Friend Or Mentor
- Find someone to talk about your judgmental tendencies with. Or find someone you admire greatly such as a spiritual teacher who shares their perspective on these topics. By listening to others, you’ll be able to reflect on your own thoughts and have clarity.
By expanding our awareness, we are able to judge a little less and embrace more. Recognize that we are all one, and that taking down the cloaks of judgement brings us closer to unity.