When someone identifies as a sensitive, it is likely that they fall into the category of being an empath. Empathic individuals have the ability to absorb energy and take in other’s emotional identity subconsciously. Because they create a relationship with other people’s emotions, they are susceptible to burn out as well as manipulation from loved ones. Empaths create a space of love and understanding and if one is not careful, they can attract those that thrive off sucking energy from giving individuals. These people are called narcissists. In this week’s post, we are going to talk about the three reasons why sensitive people find themselves in narcissistic relationships.
Reason #1: Because sensitive people are often naturally gifted in the modalities of healing, this gives narcissists an opportunity to place their wounds upon the empathic individual.
- Those who have experienced childhood trauma or multiple failures tend to carry this wound through their lives. This causes them to be needy and constantly seeking validation to maintain their sense of security within themselves. Narcissists tend to display cockinesses and self confidence to hide their hidden vulnerabilities, which empaths are brilliant at uncovering. And because empaths are givers, rarely ever saying no to someone in need, this creates an imbalanced relationship where the sensitive individual is doing the heavy lifting while the narcissist becomes co-dependent.
Reason #2: Empathic individuals have a strong belief in “service above self”.
- We have stated previously that empaths are primarily givers in the relationship. While many have a vision of serving humanity, there is a point where it gets too much. When you decide to lend an ear to listen or offer wisdom, make sure that you’re in alignment to do so. That means you are at a capacity physically and mentally to take in other people’s energy and recognize when it isn’t your own. Putting others before yourself is a recipe for disaster. Not only are you devaluing yourself, you’re giving other’s permission to take advantage of your gifts freely. Sacrificing your wants and needs for the sake of other people is not the way to go. Honor yourself and if feel compelled to take a step back, do it unapologetically.
Reason #3: Helping others gives sensitive individuals “validation”.
- Because many empathic individuals tend to be introverts and were isolated for most of their lives, when they first start initiating relationships with other individuals, they tend to cling on to them no matter how toxic it is. Their worthiness is contingent upon being able to help others in any way they can. And when they start refusing to give parts of themselves to the narcissist, the other person knows how to push their buttons. They will start preying on their fear of abandonment by saying that the sensitive individual is “worthless” and that “no one would want to be around them”. Narcissists find mechanisms to make sure that you don’t leave the relationship, which contributes to the never ending cycle of attracting them.
Another thing to note is that there is no definite description of what a narcissist is. Some may be egotistic, full of them of selves and some can be nice individuals that don’t fit the description right away. Many of them start off by giving positive support and are truly committed to growing the relationship. You usually wouldn’t find out their true nature until you encounter a situation where you see them angry or upset for the first time. As someone who is committed to their spiritual practice and is also a sensitive individual, you will never be bulletproof from attracting narcissists in your life but you can utilize these three tools and resources to make sure you don’t invite them into your experience.
Grounding: Create a sacred space where you can bring yourself back into alignment. Whether it be through art therapy or coloring or writing in your journal, it is so important to implement a spiritual practice in your life that allows you to express your emotions freely. Incorporate activities that satisfy the mind, body, and soul and dedicate yourself to this practice throughout the week.
Learn to say no: As a sensitive person, you must be selective with your energy. Not everyone is deserving of your presence. This is the truth. There are so many people who are out to destroy and debilitate empathic individuals to serve themselves. Use your intuition to assess a situation where you may feel you are potentially getting taken advantage of. “No” is not a negative word. You are entitled to what you allow and don’t allow in your energetic field. Use that power.
Set clear boundaries within the relationship: In all your relationships including your family and friends, set clear boundaries on what is allowed and what isn’t. If there is a certain time when you shut your phone off or practice your self care routine, make that known. If they are topics or limitations on what you will go out of your way for in the relationship, make that known too. We recommend that you make your relationships as balanced as possible, meaning that both or multiple parties are operating out of fair exchange, so no one feels like they are giving too little or too much.
Have you been in a narcissistic relationship? If so, did any of these reasons ring true to your experience? If not, were there other factors? We would love to hear your perspective on this. Thank you for showing your support by reading this posts and until next time, have a great rest of the week.