Going Through Grief

We’ve all experienced a time of grief. Whether it be through the loss of a loved one, a relationship or friendship dismantling, or rejection from an opportunity or project you worked so hard for. Grief is something that will keep on occurring in our lives and serve as our greatest teachers for self growth, even if we might not recognize this in the moment.

Why Do We Grieve?

We grieve for many reasons but they follow these two primary themes: attachment and deprivation. When you grieve for the loss of a person or thing, you are grieving because you had a special connection with that specific person or thing. So you may be reflecting on the memories you’ve had with them or thinking about the legacy they left for their friends and family. You still feel attached and involved  with the relationship even though they are not here on the physical plane. When you grieve for the lost opportunities, the idea is still the same. You still feel attached to the specific thing as if the rejection never happened. You start thinking about what could have been or different ways we could approached the situation to get our desired outcome. And when you finish the deep reflection, you start to feel deprived. You start missing their presence. You grieve because you can’t see them anymore and can’t accept that its come to an end. This notion is all the same when you grieve a missed opportunity. Things aren’t the same. You feel discouraged and even start to doubt yourself. When you go through this cycle of grieving, it starts to enable the fear and anxiety around us to the point where you don’t feel like yourself.

Stages of Grief

 

People grieve differently. Some people don’t go through the stages and some people do. But here are the five stages that most people do go through to reach full acceptance and healing from the situation.

Solitude: In this stage, you isolate yourself after hearing the news. For some it is still comes as shock and they don’t believe it. As a coping mechanism, they find solitude and do a deep reflection.

Bitterness: You start to feel angry about the situation. You may be asking “why me?” or “why did it have to happen to him/her/ this”? You feel that you don’t deserve this. You’ve done the good deeds and you’re active in your faith. You start look at this as a punishment.

Rationalization: You start to back track to the events leading right up to the situation. You start realizing the things you should’ve been more attentive with or the signs that needed more concern.

Depression: You feel depressed because an important relationship or thing in your life is now gone. You start feel a sense of emptiness.

Acknowledgement: This is the final stage. You now recognize the situation for what it is and are moving towards healing.

 

Five Ways To Effectively Deal With Grief

Everyone adopts certain practices to get through their loss. Its so important to take time for yourself during a time when you’re at your most vulnerable state. Here are the five ways out of many that you can utilize during the grieving process

Avoid substances that alter your mind: During the grieving process, stay away from substances that have high alcohol levels or chemicals that are known to shift judgement. Numbing yourself to these drugs can be dangerous to your health. Its a mechanism that doesn’t aim to heal but rather repress those emotions that are vital for your healing.

Holistic remedies: Herbal remedies are a great way to promote tranquility of the mind, body, and soul. Products such as essential oils and herbal teas can get your body back into balance. What we also found to be useful are crystals.

Expression: Are you a writer,musician, or artist? If you feel your creativity calling, channel that energy into the things that you love. Go back to the activities you enjoy and use it as a healing mechanism.

Gratitude: Honor the loss of a loved one or thing by paying homage to it each day. This could be by thinking of one memory that is still dear to your heart or playing their favorite song at a specific time. You could even have a moment of silence with a picture or personal letter you wrote describing their or its impact in your life.

Make healthier food choices: It may seem so easy to indulge in comfort food to seek that the same emotion in your life. Eat more fruit and veggies and balance your diet to promote optimal wellbeing.

 

Remember there isn’t a duration of how long you are supposed to grieve. Healing will happen when the time is right. Focus on taking care of yourself and getting back into a balanced state. Seek the counsel of others and immerse yourself with positivity and support.

 

-YourHigherSelf